If you care to find me...look to the western skies

"I don't know if I've been changed for the better, but because I knew you I've been changed for good." ~Gahlinda & Elphaba













Today ends the biggest adventure of my life (so far). Spending 3 months interning at the University of California Berkeley has unequivocally been the best risk I could have ever taken. I have learned so much about my job, my profession, and myself. Night before last, a few of us went to see the new Julia Roberts move, "Eat, Pray, Love." I couldn't help but identify with the main character, as she struggles to find herself int he monotony of her everyday life. Sure she was successful, had great people in her life, and had a secure home...but somehow in her complacency she lost herself. That's kind of how I felt before coming to California. I tended to play things safe, I've been pretty successful in my life so far, and I have some of the best friends and family anyone could ask for...but, despite all of this I somehow lost part of the identify I worked so hard to find in college. However, instead of taking a pilgramege to Italy, India, and Bali, (as in Eat, Pray, Love), I just flew across the country to find myslef. Along the way, I met some of the most amazing people who challenged me and supported me throughout my entire adventure. Steven, Hannah, Micah, Julie, Shannon, David, Peter, Isaac, Jay, Suzanne, Chandni, Eunice, Cindy, Jenny, Matt, Danielle, Erica, Taylor, Mike, Nick, NG, Sonam, Pena, Janna, Michelle, Yoo Mi, Dan, Kristin, Anjna, John, Rick, Maria, Mandy, and Angela...words cannot express the impact you have had on me and will continue to have on me in the future. You have no idea how much I will miss y'all. As my opening quote says, "I don't know if I've been changed for the better, but because of you I have been changed for good."








"So, what exactly have you learned during your time in California," you ask? Well, the most impactful thing that I have come to find is that I am capable of doing this job. I am a competent indivudal, and I am generally good at what I do. I will take that with me as I complete my second year of graduate school, and begin searching for full time positions in the spring. I have also learned how much of an impact I can have on an individual. My friendship with my RA's showed me how my thoughts and actions can truly effect other people, and the responsibility that comes with that. I have learned that no matter where I am in the world, I am never alone, as I have the absolute best friends and family. I have learned what kind of supervisor want to be in the future. I have learned how to handle the evacuation of a building of 200+ students during a fire...and then helping those students make sense of what has happened. I have learned, while the world is a large place, it can still feel comfortably small if you have the right friends. I have learned that In-N-Out burgers are amazing. Finally, I learned exactly how blessed I have been in my life. How many people have a job that they love to the core of their being...how many people get to spend a summer traveling around California with little to no expense? Seriously...be jealous, jk lol.




I guess the most appropriate way to close out my blog, "Berkeley or Bust" is with my favorite quote from a song from the play Wicked (with a couple of modifications),



"As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly...and if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free. To those who ground me take a message back for me. Tell em' how I have defied gravity. I flew high, I defied gravity...and soon I will match them in renown. And nobody in all of oz, no person that there is or was is ever going to bring me down."

Ch ch ch changes

"Change. We don't like it. We fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying, but here's the truth sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything."


Sorry for not posting for a pretty long time. The end of this summer has flown by, and I completely forgot to update my blog. So much has happened that it's hard to fit it all into one post but here are the highlights:

LA Trip:

Los Angeles is perhaps my new favorite place in the world...more specifically UCLA. We (the interns and my friends Johlynn & Dustin) were fortunate enough to be able to stay in one of the residence halls at UCLA for free! So between renting a car and gas, the entire trip (not including gifts and food) was pretty cheap. We did all of the touristy things, like Hollywood/Rodeo Dr/Griffiths Observatory/Venice Beach/etc. We also met two and half celebrities, including Rob Pattinson/Alex Trabek/and one of the Jeopardy contestants (the 1/2 celeb) who we adte lunch with; however, my favorite part of the trip was spending half a day touring UCLA and getting to know some of the RD's. One of the RD's turned out to be a UNCW alumni...so you can imagine how excited I was. Although in the center of a major city, UCLA feels like its own beautiful little city... perhaps its because UCLA is nestled between Bel Air and Beverley Hills haha. Needless to say, I will be applying to jobs there when they have openings lol.

Excursions

Since my last post, I have gone on a TON of campus tours and large scale programs. Just to give you the highlights, this summer I've toured (and met/interviewed staff memebers at...) UCSF, UC Santa Cruz, Sonoma State, Stanford, UCLA, and of course Berkeley. Santa Cruz was probably the most interesting of the schools I have visited as they have a completely decentralized residential model...even more so than NC State. They are so decentralized that they each of the 10 'colleges' has its on provost/assistant dean/ and res life staff. Although this wasn't really related to the campus visit, we took the Pacific Coast Highway on the way back from Santa Cruz and it was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen (see pics below). Some of the bigger programs I was fortunate to chaperon included a trip to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom (there is a funny story that goes with this, so ask me about it some time), the Santa Cruz Boardwalk, the SF Museum of Modern Art, and a live performance/musical of Disney's Aladdin.

Evaluation Season

I have to say that after having completed 12 RA evaluations, I have decided that this was my least favorite part of my job. The entire process is cumbersome and time consuming. Not to mention, I really dislike having to give people negative feedback (unless I don't like them, which def wasn't the case with my RA's). However, it was a great learning opportunity, as I gave each RA an opportunity the chance to give me verbal feedback, in addition to the feedback they gave on their anonymous evaluation of me. One of my evaluations got really emotional as one of my students expressed how much our one on one's and friendship/mentor ship meant to them. It was definitely one of those moments that reaffirmed why I chose to go into this profession.

The quote I chose for the post was particularly poignant, as I totally feel that taking the risk to move to California this summer was the best decision I've ever made (or at least one of the top 3). I kind of lost myself in the months leading up to graduate school, and spent most of the year trying to rediscover who I was as an adult. Moving across the country by myself, and spending three months in an area where no one knew me was unimaginably refreshing. I really feel like I've found the old 'me' and am now able to incorporate that into my professional/adult life. Although exhausted, I am completely rejuvenated and ready to tackle the second year of my assistantship and graduate school. Bring it!

Upcoming blog posts:
Homelessness
Student Centered Student Affairs: Find our roots
My final post

Session D

"Turn and face the strange ch-ch-changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me, but I can't trace time"

Session A has OFFICALLY moved out! This is probably sad to say, but I have never been so glad to see a group of people leave my presence! However, despite their privileged, narcissistic, unruly behavior, they taught me a lot about myself and about how hard this job can get. So I guess I should be appreciative in some way?? In order to recover from the chaos of the last couple of weeks, we took the staff to Strawberry Canyon to complete a high rope's course. I've done low ropes before, but I quickly found out that high ropes is very very different. We were all strapped into pully systems, where we had to complete various obstacles at about 15-30 feet above ground. It seemed that the rope's course was a success, as the team seemed to be a lot closer by the end of the day. I saw a lot of amazing things, including three students who were petrified to be so high in the air...but all three persevered and pushed themselves beyond their comfort zone. Another thing that amazed me was the amount of positivity and support coming from the entire group. Some of our team members have a tendency to be sort of negative, but even those people rallied around those who needed support.

Session D moved in a week ago today. So far they have been fairly good. We have a greater diversity in countries represented. I've met students from Lebanon, Egypt, Russia, Germany, France, Korea, Japan, Taiwan, China, and Spain. Today was the World Cup Championship (Soccer), which I typically wouldn't follow; however, one of my RA's planned a BBQ/Viewing party in Cunningham Main Lounge. Over 200 students showed up, and most of them were routing for Spain. The energy of the crowd was amazing, and even got me pumped for the game! Although I traditionally despise professional sports (on principle), sports that bring the world together such at the Olympics and the World Cup can actually be a great thing.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've also gotten to meet a few more UC-Berkeley upper-level administrators. For better or worse, I've learned a lot about the kind of administrator I want to be, and how the politics of higher education works. I've always thought that I was pretty good at navigating political terrain; however, the politics of Student Affairs can be overwhelming, if you want to make it to the top.

Two weeks from today we are roadtripping to LA! Our Assistant Director got us a couple of rooms at UCLA, so we don't have to pay for housing...which is huh-mazing! I'm excited to tour the campus, and hopefully meet some people that can shed some light on this doctoral program or no-doctoral program delima I find myself in. A lot of people are saying not to go directly into your doctorate, however I've seen others who have done it and are lot more ahead in their careers than those that have not. In a perfect world I'd be able to find a job at a university that would allow me to work and go to school full time, as I hope to have my doctorate by the time I'm 26 or 27. I would typically tell myself I have plenty of time to think about it...but the truth is I need to go ahead and decide in the next couple of months since applications will be due this fall...womp womp.

I'm tired of writing, so that's all for now...hopefully I'll be able to add a few more posts this week.

Cheers!

Burn Out

"Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home"

-Michael Buble

It is June 29, 2010, and I finally feel like I've hit a brick wall. The past four days have been some of the most challenging days in a very long time, and for the first time since I've been to California I feel kind of homesick. I realize that this would be a challenging experience, and I am extremely grateful for the opportunity/ies that I have had since I've been here. However, I miss at least being in the same time zone of the people I really need to talk to. Of course, everyone has been very encouraging and there to talk to for the past few days with all of the emergencies that have gone on; however, I always feel like I can't completely say what I'm feeling/thinking (or I have phrase things very carefully) because at the end of the day, I'm always at work, and the people around me are my supervisors, supervisees, and co-workers. I just really miss being able to call my family/Kelsie/JHag/Dustin/Andy/Caitlen/Hope/Tiffany/Lindsay/Angie/Kristin/Aaron/Gary, etc. at any time without worrying about them being awake when I actually have time to talk. What really sucks too is that even if I 'took time off' here to escape work, I can't really because I don't want to be by myself but I don't know anyone on the west coast (well enough) to go stay with them.

Today sapped the last bit of emotional energy from me, as my co-intern and I had to address some major problems that were occuring within my staff. By nature, I hate confrontation and having to do that infront of around 20 people (who I've become very good friends with) was draining to say the least. By the end of the meeting, the mood was tangibly negative and I really had to just go lock myself in the office and have some time to myself. Perhaps its a chronic need to be liked by others, or just knowing how bad it can feel to be confronted by a superior? Either way, I guess it was a good growing experience, professionally and personally. I do hope at the end of the day, that my staff knows that I absolutely adore them. They are an amazing group of people, and are a large part of why I have loved my time here so much.

Alright, I'm tired. Cheers...

Burning Down The House

"Enter action with boldness." -Law 28, The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

In the past 2-3 years, I've dealt with a major fire in my apartment community and person falling out of the second floor building of the house I manage. Today, I got to add another fire to my repertoire of emergency management experience. However, today was very different from the other two experiences.

My day started at approximately 6:30am, when I awoke to one of my RA's hovering over me. After the initial shock of someone being in my apartment, I was informed that one of the resident halls I am in charge of was on fire, and that I needed to get up. Apparently I was called several times via phone, but because I sleep with earplugs and had my phone on vibrate I obviously did not hear it.

Once I arrived to another residence hall where the residents of the smokey building were being corralled, I discovered the situation had been going on for about 1.5 hours before I got there and the initial protocol was already completed. Seeing that the people who were already there had things under control, I stepped back and helped where needed; e.g. keeping residents from leaving the secure area, gathering food/water/juice, and gathering blankets. After a few hours, I went with one of the RD's to assess some potential conduct concerns resulting from the building sweep that the fire marshall conducted; however, when I arrived, the the fire reignited. On top of that, I was informed that I needed to chaperon a trip to San Fran to visit the California Academy of Science. Although I really wanted to stay, considering one of my buildings was on fire, I figured that it was best that I went on the trip as I would not have been much help otherwise. I had a great time (considering I was working on about 3.5-4 hours of sleep), and really enjoyed the time with my RA's (Pictures below). After I got back from the trip, one of the RD's and I had to complete a lot of incident reports stemming from alcohol and contraband found in many resident's rooms. That means many more conduct meets...yay! Haha. From there, we grabbed a bite to eat at In-and-Out (which is really really delicious), and I continued working since I had Incident Reports to email, and a building meeting/inspection to schedule. So all in all I completed a 16 hour workday.

One thing that did rub me the wrong way, though, were the continual snarky/bossy comments I received during the morning. During a crisis situation, one should be a role model for everyone else. That means uplifting and supporting each other...not bringing people down with negativity and 'my situation is worse than your situation' comments. Some people are agitated enough when they first wake up in the morning (like me), so insulting them just 'adds insult to injury.' Regardless, I tried my best to access one of my apparent "Top 5 Strengths," positivity. "I can't eat those cereal bars because things that don't taste good make me sick"...blllleehhh

Cheers!

Defying Gravity

"I'm through accepting limits, because someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change but til I try I'll never know" -Defying Gravity, Wicked

This blog post is solely a review of the Broadway hit, Wicked. I just got back from seeing it at a theater in San Francisco, and it was definitely one of the most amazing opportunities I have had the privilege of experiencing. This was actually the first 'non-high school' musical/play I have ever attended, so it was an extra special experience.

For those of you who haven't seen or heard of this production, it's story centers on the re-telling of the movie "The Wizard of Oz." However, in this version the focus is on the two witches, Glenda (The Good Witch of the North ) and Elphaba (The Wicked Witch of the West), and how they came to be iconic images we know today. We learn that both witches were not exactly who we thought them to be, and because of the circumstances they grew up in, the audience is able to see the evolution of the two characters. The show even reintroduces the main characters from The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy, Tin Man, Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion.

The set design of Wicked was possibly my favorite part. A giant, movable, puppet like dragon loomed over the the stage throughout the play, and occasionally came to life during climactic points of the production. Giant cogs and gears lined the walls of the stage, and the backdrop shifted from silhouettes of Oz, to classrooms, and from dark forests to the Emerald City itself. The costume design was another incredible aspect. In true "Oz" fashion, the costumes were bright, shiny, and elaborate. Even the design of the flying monkey's was true to the original movie!

Perhaps the most impactful part of the Wicked experience was the performance of the song Defying Gravity, which some of you may be familiar with as it was featured on one of my favorite TV Shows, Glee. The quote I used at the beginning of this blog is a line from the song, which I found particularly moving. In the scene, Elpheba (the wicked witch) is faced with a delima in using her new powers to fly away so that she may save the animals of Oz. However, I feel that the song is quite inspiring as it applies to life. Coming from a very small town in rural North Carolina, I had very few opportunities to "fly high." You could say I felt like a big fish in a small pond. Everywhere I turned there seemed to be someone throwing up road blocks, and people telling me to just accept certain things. Now that I am a young adult, I have been able to bust out of small town USA and really start pursuing all the adventures life has to offer me. I mean c'mon, I'm living in Berkeley, CA! Who would have guessed? I definitely wouldn't have 4...8...10 years ago. Anyways, I probably should wrap this up and go to bed, so if you haven't seen Wicked yet...go buy your ticket right now!!!!!!

WACUUUUUUUUHO! Part Deux

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

Its day 3 of the WACUHO Conference, and I couldn't be more excited. I went to two incredible interest sessions. The first was a best practice session on RA training, and how to better utilize returning staff members. I found all of the information to be quite helpful, considering I was never an RA and have never been a part of an RA training. Although the information was geared towards ResLife, I am excited to use some aspects in my training for Greek Officers back at Duke. For instance, they talked about creating online policy quizzes that must be passed before events can take place...this would eliminate the really dull components of some of our training programs.

The second program I attended involved implementing a series of programming called "Geek Week." It was a really fascinating presentation. One of the programs centered around the feminist perspective of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the show, not the movie). The presenter also threw some student development theory in there...yay Chickering! (You prob won't get that unless you're in higher ed). I don't really have anyway of implementing this on any of my campuses considering the functional areas I work in; however, in my future job as an RD somewhere, I will definitely keep this in mind.

The night ended with the "Grand Banquet," which was a suit/tie event where awards and recognitions are given. Guess what?! My team and I won FIRST/GOLD place in the New Professionals Case Study Competition! I cannot begin to tell you how excited we were. I was shaking so bad, I couldn't hold my cup of tea afterward. What really made this special, is that we were the only grad students to participate, as our competition were new professionals with 1-3 years of full-time work experience. Our win is the reason I used the above quote for this post.

Unfortunately I need to go to bed now since I co-presenting an interest session at 9am (its currently 1:30am)...so more tomorrow!

Cheers!